The Cole Train

About 4 weeks ago, I remember the buzz of “corona” virus and the United States…

I remember telling Hannah as she asked me about it that it wasn’t anything to worry about. I remember telling her that some people just liked to have something to “worry” about…

Each day after that, I ate my words more and more… and within a matter of a week, we were getting the news that her school was being closed… that ALL schools across NC were being closed…

I have watched as everything we knew about life has changed… and I honestly never imagined that as a country, we would be in a place we are right now fighting a pandemic…

At first, I was doubtful of the seriousness of the virus… but each day my doubt turned more to worry… maybe the worry was really fear…

Fear for the wealthiest nation in the world to become so third world in healthcare and supplies…

Fear for mandatory shutdowns…

Fear of the economy and stock market and feelings of things that I remember learning in 10th grade about the beginnings of the Great Depression…

Fear for my children… that the life they knew was suddenly stopping and being completely rearranged and the only explanation I could give was because of the virus I told them not to worry about…

Fear that their mom, who worked safely inside of a hospital, now had a potentially unsafe job being exposed to something that no one has a handle on…

Fear that after being told my whole life as a nurse that I should do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to make a patient and their family happy and satisfied with their care was now seeing healthcare workers trying to reduce the risk of exposure time… get everything done and get out of the room…

I work with some of the best nurses I know… nurses that do not fear the worst… that deal with the most critical situations with calmness and the ability to get it done… we have a manager that is truly and honestly a leader… he was meant to lead… he puts up with our questions and complaints without ever showing a bit of frustration or stress that this whole thing causes…

But the tension in the air at work is undeniable… you can feel it in the air… people worried… worried about exposure… worried about their family… worried about supplies…

Fear is real… but so is God…

God calls us to have faith over fear… and if I am really honest, in the past week, I have allowed fear to creep in…

I have tried all week to get my time in with God, but I felt so distant… yesterday, I prayed… I prayed for guidance to put my faith over my fear…

And then I was reminded of verses we taught to our SS class the week before services were cancelled…

Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

And then last night as I finally made it to my devotion that I have not accomplished all week, I read this:

Matthew 16:15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

My God… my God is the creator… He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end… He knows the plans He has for me… He is for me and not against me… He loves this world enough to save us from our sins… He loves us so much that He sent us Jesus… He loves us despite our wrong doings and He calls us His people… He loves us enough to leave the 99 for the 1… He loves us enough to give us grace & mercy… He loves us so much that all He wants is for us to want Him and to follow His word… He calls us to have faith in Him & to go forth and make disciples of all nations…

He loves us enough to show us that fear has no place in our hearts where He belongs…

He calls us to be the church & the church is not an organization… the church is an organism… the church is you…

My job is to show Jesus in all that I do… without fear of the future because I know my God already knows the future and has that handled too… He has handled all of my unknowns before and I WILL have FAITH without fear… ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I am a mom…

A wife…

A daughter…

A sister…

An aunt…

I am an ICU NURSE…

You know, a nurse in the place where the sickest of the sick with COVID-19 will be placed on a ventilator, with a nurse like me to care for them…

I have seen so many things over social media from my nurse friends… “we are the front line”… “I knew what I signed up for”… “when everyone else is running from, I am running to…”

But can I be honest for a moment?

If I am honest, I would tell you that I absolutely did not sign up for this…

Maybe when I was 18… maybe then, I did sign up to be in the center of the chaos… to be the one saving lives when everyone else was scared…

Don’t get me wrong… I love my job (most days)… I love to be the one capable of making life-changing differences in people who are critically ill… to give hope to the hopeless… and to give comfort to those who are beyond my help of fixing in this world…

But with all of the panic and chaos that has surrounded the last few days in our country, I would be lying if I said that I “look forward” to the thought of caring for COVID-19 with it shutting down our way of life, schools, church services, the daily routine…

I have 3 children who not only want a mom that is healthy and not sick from exposure, but they also want a mom that doesn’t bring them sickness- Or even a mom who is quarantined because of exposure and can’t come home… they just want their mom- not the ICU nurse…

With people talking about their jobs shutting down for the next coming weeks- I would be lying if I said that my soul didn’t cringe a little when I hear them complain because what I would give to not be on the front line risking taking something home to my family…

But then yesterday morning, I felt God talking to me. He reminded me of when Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.

“When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master,nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:12-17

God quietly and compassionately reminded me that I am the hands and feet of Jesus. He gave me my family, but He also gave me the knowledge & ability to care for critically ill. He gave me these talents, not to keep to myself, but to use. And He calls me to wash the feet of the sick- With compassion, grace, mercy, & love- the same things that He sent Jesus to give us.

Immediately, I felt a peace over the whole chaos of this virus. I do not fear, because I know that His plans are greater than mine. He has shown me so many times in this life that He makes a way, and it is my job to follow His way in faith.

So tonight, I will put on my scrubs with a cheerful & serving heart and leave my family to take care of someone else’s. I do not plan on necessarily coming in contact with COVID-19. But if I do, I will not hide my talents that God has given me. I will gladly care for them with the same whole-hearted care I give all of my patients.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

I do not fear COVID-19… because I know who controls the heavens and the earth… and who guides my steps… and I will be the hands & feet of Jesus today, tomorrow, & where ever God calls me to be ❤️❤️❤️

Recently, I have had so many friends that are in the valley. You know… the valley where it makes you question why is life so unfair.

And after you finish questioning why life is unfair, the next thought is why isn’t God saving me from this? You pray daily, hourly, sometimes in between each moment for God to intervene.

But the thing about the valley… God is already there.

Psalm 121

1 “I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? 2My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; 8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

He is with you in the valley friend- you just have to open your eyes & heart to Him.

And there is another thing God brings to the valley. He meets you there with His strength… right in the middle of your weakness… and it’s there that you find His blessings. You finally feel all of the blessings that God has been providing all along. The blessings that were brushed off as no big deal when you were on the mountain top. The blessings that you didn’t see…

I remember right after we found out that I miscarried our 3rd baby… life had been hard, and then we lost our baby… we felt ourselves lost in the valley… but that is also where we found Jesus waiting for us… holding our family together… reminding us of his goodness and faithfulness to us… and there in the valley, I felt every single one of God’s blessings… I could see Him in the little things, so clearly present and carrying us through each moment…

That very week we had already bought tickets and hyped the girls up for the state fair… it was early in the pregnancy and they didn’t even know, so we hadn’t told them about the miscarriage… just a few days after, barely able to emotionally drag ourselves out of the house, we hauled the girls to the fair promising it would be a good day. We bought wristbands for the girls to ride all the rides they wanted- something we never did at that time… however, our youngest daughter didn’t meet the height requirement for most of the rides. We finally found one she could ride…

We waited in line for what seemed like forever, while my husband and older daughter rode some other rides. I knew I would have to ride with her, but honestly, every other carnival we had been to would let the adults ride without tickets if the child HAD to have an adult ride with them… oh but not the state fair… we made it all the way to the front of the line- 2nd to ride- when the mom in front of us asked the carnival worker if she had to have tickets to ride with her child- he told her yes and I remember the anger she felt as she left the line with her child to stand in the ticket line for tickets instead. I stood there explaining to my 3 year old why we couldn’t ride the ride and how I wasn’t going to stand in line for tickets when I had already paid for her wristband. I was over it, defeated, exhausted, and just honestly couldn’t bare to stand in another line… I wish you could have seen her pitiful face as I explained why we were going to have to get out of the line… and then, the carnival worker, you know, the one who does this for a living, going from fair to fair, seeing thousands of kids and parents a day with the same struggle- telling them all they need tickets- watching them all disappointed at times…

He reached in his ticket holder and pulled out a piece of paper- as we were starting to walk away- he whispered, “ma’am, ma’am… here…” He placed the paper in my hand. As I looked down at it, it was a “one free ride” ticket… he opened the gate and said “can I have your ticket?” I handed him the paper back and he checked my daughter’s wristband as he let us into the ride. I was in shock, literally tears in my eyes… not because I had gotten a free ride, but because right there in a line of kids and parents, at a state fair, I felt Jesus through that carnival worker. On the mountain top, I would have said thank you and never thought twice about it… but in the valley… I literally felt Jesus’ love through a carnival worker. That is a blessing I will never forget…

Or how about the night that I was at work… my husband & I were going through the roughest season of our marriage… and it was literally unfolding while I was at work… Normally I would have just pushed it down inside until I got off work, but that night I couldn’t and it was obvious to everyone I worked with…

And right there in the valley, I found Jesus again… right there in an empty ICU room (I work in a hospital as a nurse)… right there in the middle of the night… one of my coworkers grabbed my hands. She didn’t tell me all the ways and things I should do. She didn’t tell me what was right or what was wrong. She grabbed my hands and she started praying. She prayed over my marriage and over my soul. She prayed for my husband and me & for strength and healing… and as she prayed, right there in the quiet valley, I felt Jesus… SHE was my blessing from God to remind me in that moment that He was there and to focus on Him.

Friends, I know the valley isn’t easy… it never is. And none of us ever desire to be there…

But in the valley, if you will reach out to God, you will find Him there… He is the same God that was with you on the mountain top. The same God that you forgot to thank when things were going great. He meets you in your weakness, and finally YOU are broken enough to see His strength… His blessings…

And when you feel all of those blessings, your soul starts the climb out of the valley… maybe not climb, maybe you are carried up the mountain. But when you reach the mountain top again, you will never forget the blessings in the valley… ❤️❤️❤️

Blessings by Laura Story

“We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise”

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

What a perfect verse to explain love on Valentine’s Day…

For God so LOVED the WORLD…

The whole entire world…

Not just Christians…

Not just good people…

But the one who has strayed…

The sinner…

The unbeliever…

The liar…

The addict…

The hopeless…

And God called us to love our neighbor in the same way that He loves…

When we label people as “good” or “bad”, He labels people as “my son” & “my daughter”…

And just as the prodigal son was welcomed home after doing everything wrong… God celebrates every single one of His children coming home to Him without any thought of the wrong doings…

When He sees you, He sees you covered in Jesus’ blood, washed clean, and He rejoices in you…

Talk about LOVE… how much more love could you ever want that someone would send their only son to die for the chance to save you…

And sweet friend, all you have to do is accept Him… because His love endures forever…❤️❤️❤️

I wish I could tell you how many times I have told someone this…

“We ALL have issues…”

Some people’s issues are easily seen and some people’s issues are hidden…

But regardless, we all have them.

Some issues are not hidden; maybe not embarrassing… but still heavy.

Maybe it’s sickness, or a sick family member… and while there may be no reason you feel to hide this, the burden is still great on your soul.

But maybe it is an issue that the world can’t just “see”… maybe it’s a burden that you carry without the world knowing…

A child that didn’t make good choices, a spouse that didn’t make good choices, or ones self…

Maybe it’s trouble within your family that goes unspoken of in public…

Whatever the issue… friend, let me tell you… we ALL have them… maybe different, but still, they ARE heavy.

Here’s the thing about “issues”:

God never promised we wouldn’t have them. Actually he tells us we will. But he does promise us something better…

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

I will never be able to tell you all of the reasons for your pain, but I do know that God uses all of it for a greater purpose.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

In your weakness, God shows His strength if you will lean into Him. He wants to take your burden.

I pray that you know that regardless of your “issues”, you are loved by a God that sent His son to die for you. Jesus covered every single one of those issues when he went to the cross. Regardless of how embarrassing or heavy they may seem right now, God knew them all before they ever came to be, and He still chose you to be His child.

And as a friend…a true friend that loves you and wants you to feel free of suffering… let me tell you… your burden may be heavy, but if you give it to God, oh, sweet friend, it is so much easier to carry. ❤️

And in time, JOY eventually finds it’s way back to you… ❤️❤️❤️

When you succeed or when you fail…

I will be there.

When I am proud of your accomplishments or when I disagree with your decisions…

I will be there.

When you are on top of the mountain or low in the valley…

I will be there.

When you are winning at life or when you feel like you are coming in last…

I will be there.

When you are happy & healthy or when you are tired & sick…

I will be there.

When you are 4 months, 4 years, 9 years or 30…

I will be there.

Because you are my babies…

And while my love may grow every single day for you, I will never love you any less.

I know it’s the middle of the night and you are up again wondering if you will ever get a normal night’s rest…

Keep going Momma.

I know it was difficult getting everyone ready for church this morning- the baby cried because he wanted to nap, and the big kids cried because they didn’t want to wear dresses or tights…

Keep going Momma.

I know you struggle with working and leaving your little one in someone else’s care…

Keep going Momma.

I know it’s hard to be a stay at home mom- the days are long and what you would give for adult conversation…

Keep going Momma.

I know you juggle car line, nap schedules, dance, sports, making lunches, making dinners, doing homework, giving bottles, laundry- the list goes on and on…

Keep going Momma.

I know those bottles are piled high in the sink, yet the baby just wants to be held, and you have a million +1 things to do…

Keep going Momma.

I know you are exhausted and the “thank you’s”are sometimes few and far between, & you wonder if anyone notices all that you do…

Keep going Momma.

Because one day your little ones will start to grow up…

You will watch them give without being asked…

You will watch them put other’s needs before their own…

You will watch them juggle school, church, sports, friends, homework…

You will watch them love bigger than you could ever imagine…

You will wonder how they learned this & your heart will swell with love seeing just how AMAZING THEY ARE…

To all of my sweet momma friends…

Keep going Momma…

You are doing AMAZING things and you are right where you are meant to be ❤️

Recently, I was involved in an accident.

My husband leaves early for church on Sundays to practice playing music for that day. The kids and I were running late. I was in a hurry and made it almost all the way to church, until I ran into someone while I was looking at where I was going to park in the parking lot.

A minor fender bender. No one was hurt thankfully. I was literally barely going and hit a stopped car. Yet, a collision none the less. A busted front end for my car and theirs.

As the process of getting the car fixed and insurance claims have arrived, I find myself more and more embarrassed each time I tell the story. How could I have been so distracted, so careless?

I had to take pictures of my car for the insurance claim. As I took the pictures, I instantly started thinking about how we treat our messes in this world.

From the back of my car…

Everything looks perfect. A nice shiny Tahoe. I can say that I would ride behind this girl and think “man, she’s got it together… a nice, shiny ride… and a cute Jesus sticker.” I bet the inside sparkles & she never lets her kids eat and leave crumbs everywhere (which if you are one of my friends, I feel you laughing now at the thought of the inside of my car actually being clean from kid toys and crumbs… lol)

But what if you just saw the front of my car…

My very first thought would be, “wow, what did this girl do?” She thought she had to together but now we see how “busted” things actually are. From the front, I can’t hide what happened. It’s obvious… I had an accident. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it wasn’t… but assumptions are always there and I would assume seeing the front that it was my fault. But get this, I busted the front end of the other car too. What do you think people think when they see her car? That she was careless? She was just an innocent bystander that now also has to pay the consequences for my actions.

Isn’t this life?

We go through life hoping everyone only sees our “back”, you know, “the good side”. We pray that no one sees our mess ups… and if the do, we get embarrassed, & hope they don’t ask questions. We feel the need to explain ourselves.

And what about if we were the bystander that got hit? People look at us and wonder how we messed up? How did we get into that “accident”?

But friends, I’m here to tell you…

Jesus…He sees it all.

Our fronts, our backs, & our insides.

And crazy enough, He loves them all.

He is proud of our backs, compassionate with our fronts, & full of grace for our insides.

So even when the world sees you don’t have it all together, Jesus reminds us that He never assumed we did. He went to the cross for our mess ups… and better than insurance, He guarantees to cover you 100% of the time if you come to Him. ❤️

“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” Psalm 103:10-13

Hey y’all,

I’m Megan Cole. Married to Daniel for 12 years, mom to Hannah (9), Haley (4), & Hayden (4 months), & a nurse in the ICU for 10 years.

I love being a mom, sunshine, dessert, a clean house (which never happens lol), & adventures with my family.

But most importantly, I love Jesus and I’m so incredibly thankful for His love, grace, & mercy. ❤️❤️❤️

I have been working on starting this blog for quite some time now, but always seemed to find a way to talk myself out of it.

I felt God reminding me to be a light… for those in the dark. Whether it’s the dark of your marriage, as a mom, at work, or just life in general. My hope is to bring you encouragement & I pray you feel Jesus’ love here ❤️❤️❤️